[M] FW: The 5 toughest questions for men

[kuko .]

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> *Subject:* The 5 toughest questions for men
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> The 5 toughest questions for men are:
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>
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> 1. What are you thinking about?
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> 2. Do you love me?
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> 3. Do I look fat?
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> 4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
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> 5. What would you do if I died?
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> What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is
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> guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers
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> incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public
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> service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible
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> responses.
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> Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
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> The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've
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> been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm,
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> wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and
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> how lucky I am to have met you."
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> This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true
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> answer, which most likely is one of the following:
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>
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> a. Baseball.
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> b. Football.
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> c. How fat you are.
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> d. How much prettier she is than you.
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> e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
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>
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> (Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al
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> Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was
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> thinking, I would be talking to you!")
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> Question # 2: Do you love me?
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> The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed
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> answer is in order, "Yes, dear."
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> Inappropriate responses include:
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> a. Oh Yeah, loads.
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> b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
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> c. That depends on what you mean by love.
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> d. Does it matter?
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> e. Who, me?
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> Question # 3: Do I look fat?
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> The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
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> Among the incorrect answers are:
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> a. Compared to what?
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> b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
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> c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
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> d. I've seen fatter.
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> e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about
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>  how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
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> Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
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> Once again, the proper response is always: "Of course not!"
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> Incorrect responses include:
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> a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
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> b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
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> c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
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> d. Define pretty..
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> e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about
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>  how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
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> Question# 5: What would you do if I died?
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> A definite no-win question.
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> (The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Corvette!")
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